


Stargazing

by Pocketkaito



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Character Study, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kaito POV, Kissing, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21971614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pocketkaito/pseuds/Pocketkaito
Summary: Crying.Coughing.Sitting alone in the grass.His hands covered in blood.He couldn't care less.Stargazing.It always helps him calm down.
Relationships: Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ToxicPineapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicPineapple/gifts).



> Guess who wrote Saimota again?  
> I tried out a different writing style for once and for the love of god I can not write fluff, but hey I tried
> 
> This is a gift to toxicpineapple because they made me fall in love with the ship and inspired me to write this!
> 
> I love two (2) idiots

Crying.  
Coughing.  
Sitting alone in the grass.  
His hands covered in blood.  
He couldn't care less.  
Stargazing.  
It always helps him calm down.

Tears rolling down his face.  
Nothing new  
But it feels different every single time.  
Wishing that he could stop all this.

Stop the tears.  
Stop the coughing.  
Stop the blood.

Not caring about the blood.  
He looks up at the stars,  
He calms down.

Footsteps.

Fuck.

'Are you okay?'

(He lies)

'I'm fine.'

Why isn't he able to lie this time?

He wipes his tears away and smiles  
He forgets about the blood, but then he remembers.

He's shocked.

(Of course he is)

'Hey, you should take care of that.'

He lies again.

'I'm fine,  
I told you already.'

But he isn't and he knows it too.

'I'm not mad, just worried.'

He smiles.  
Pathetic how could he ever love him.

'I know. I just... don't want you to hate me.'

Coward...

'How could I ever?'

Because...

'You keep saying that you're fine but  
I feel like you aren't. Why won't you ever open up to me?'

...he loves him.

'I'm not supposed to. It's not good.'

Idiot idiotidiotidiotidiot...

'Please talk to me. Let me help you.'

Just tell him.

'I'm not supposed to cry.'

Fucking idiot.

'It's okay to cry Momota, it's okay to have emotions, it's okay to ask for help and it's okay to be sick.'

He takes out a cloth.  
He wipes his hands and clothes clean.

'See, all better.'

Just confess already.

'I'm sorry Saihara, I failed. I failed as your friend, I failed as your help. I failed  
Everything.'

Are you even a real man?

He cries again.

'It's okay, I should've known there was something wrong. I wasn't there when you needed it.'

Breathe.

He cries, he can't look the other boy in the eyes.  
So he looks at the stars.  
They're pretty.  
They're calming.

This time he doesn't calm down.  
Stupid thoughts.  
Love is stupid.  
Especially when the one you love is sitting next to you.

'If anything's bothering you please don't hesitate to tell me, I'm here for you.'

He doesn't care if he's crying,  
Because he loves him.

'Thanks sidekick.

He smiles.  
His eyes are red and puffy from crying,  
But it doesn't matter anymore.  
He smiles back.

Oh, god, how could anyone not love him?

'I-'

(Love you)

'Never mind, it's stupid.'

It's not that hard you idiot

'I bet it isn't, know that I'll never hate you.'

He shifts further away from him,  
He lays his head on his own jacket.

'The stars are beautiful tonight.'

Just.... say it....

'Yeah... I agree, but please don't avoid my question. I genuinely care about you Kaito.'

Do it... Now.

'I-I know. I just...'

Stop crying you good for nothing piece of crap.

'Love you so much Shuichi, there I said it. Hate me all you want now. I don't care anymore.'

If you don't care, why are you crying?

He looks shocked,  
But not mad.

(Is that good?)

And now he cries too.  
They're both silent.  
Two crying idiots sitting in the grass.

'I love you too Kaito. I love you so much that it sometimes hurts.'

He cries, but smiles at the same time.

Goddammit even now he looks beautiful.

Now they're two smiling and crying idiots.

'Guess we're both kinda stupid eh?'  
'Yea I guess so.'  
They laugh. 

And then...  
He kisses him  
They're a mess  
But they're kissing.

It's all he's ever wanted  
Not that he would ever have admitted it up until now.  
He smiles,  
He smiles back.

He looks like a mess, but at least he's a happy mess.

He lies down,  
He smiles.  
He looks at the stars.  
It always helps him calm down.

He falls asleep in the grass.  
But he doesn't care,  
Because he's finally happy.

He wakes up to the most beautiful face in the universe.

'Are you okay?'

Deja vu  
He thinks he remembers, but it doesn't matter anymore.

'Yea, you?'

He smiles, and he kisses him, just because he can.

He wants to keep staring in his gray eyes forever  
He wants to rumble his soft hair every day.

He knows that that's impossible, but it's a beautiful thought.

He's the luminary of the stars, and the most beautiful one is right in front of him.

'I love you Shuichi.'  
'I love you too Kaito.'


	2. Maybe I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi comforts Kaito becuz Kaito needs it.
> 
> Not too much angst bc I have hurt you guys too much in the past already <3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally posted again, wow I kinda disapeared didn't I.  
> Well I decided to write a 2nd chapter to this story since I lowkey love it.  
> I planned on putting a lot of fluff into this but my fingers said no let's hurt them some more.

He kisses him,  
He kisses him back.  
He's finally happy.

'It's morning, we should eat something.'

He gets up.  
And he smiles  
Oh that goddamn smile.  
It's enough to make a man fall in love

'Yea, let's head to the dining hall.'

He rubs the dirt off his clothes.  
He wipes the remaining blood off his mouth.  
His arms and back are stiff  
But he doesn't care,  
Because he's with the one he loves most.

In his case it's a detective named "Shuichi Saihara", or the defenition of perfection.  
They walk hand in hand.  
A small gesture,  
But it means a lot to him.

He walks towards the dining hall.  
Hands no longer intertwined.  
No one can find out.

Kaito Momota, the luminary of the stars with another guy?  
Pathetic,  
Weird,  
Abnormal.

He wants to tell everyone  
But he's too scared.  
Afraid of what they'll say.  
Afraid of what they'll think.

So he doesn't hold his hand.  
They just enter like they usually do.  
He smiles at everyone,  
He eats his breakfast.  
Nothing unusual in his behaviour... right?

Everything's suspicious.  
The smallest glances.  
The littlest smiles.  
He feels as if everyone knows.

Do they know?  
Fuck  
He doesn't want them to know.  
He's too scared.

He leaves early  
Without a word.

They know, he thinks.  
Why is he that scared?  
He really doesn't know  
Yet he's still afraid.

Quietly he sits in his dorm  
Waiting for his...  
Boyfriend?  
Just a friend?  
...To come back.  
Is it too early to call him his boyfriend already?

He hears a knock on the door  
'Shuichi, you're done with breakfast!'  
'Uh yeah... can I come in?'  
'Sure, the door is open.'

He walks into his room.  
He's been there before.  
But it feels different this time.

'Why did you leave? I'm worried about you.'

Just... lie.

No

Be honest.

'I'm scared Shuichi. I'm so scared.'

He cries again.

Weak, you're so weak and pathetic.

'Why are you afraid Kaito?'

Himself, the world, the killing game, everything. 

'Of people finding out, about me... about us. I'm scared Shu, I'm so weak I can't handle this.'

He walks over to him and sits next to him.

'You're not weak, you're one of the strongest people I know. It's like I told you before, having emotions is okay.'

He cries more.

'It's difficult okay.'

He kisses him.

'But it's going to work out in the end.'

He kisses him back.

'I hope so.'

He puts his head on his shoulder.  
They just sit, he doesn't know for how long and he doesn't care either.  
He stops crying.

He's truly happy.  
He's finally with the one he loves most.  
He doesn't have to pretend to love her anymore.  
She's great, there's no denying that, it's just that he loves him instead.  
He doesn't have to hide his feelings anymore.  
With him he can just be himself.

He can show his real emotions.  
He can show how much he loves him.  
He can show what he's really like.  
'I love you so much Shu.'

'I love you too Kaito.'

And for once, he's calmed by something or rather someone other than the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it! I'm defenitely writing more Saimota in the future cuz I adore them so much.
> 
> Not that long cuz I was out of inspiration, might add another chapter in the future but probably not

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I was crying the whole time when I wrote this because I read sad Saimota fanfics before writing this.


End file.
